Talk about wine like a proper wino.

 

Acid:

It’s the yin to sugar’s yang, and they’re both naturally occurring in grapes.

Amber:
Orange-coloured white wine, made with extended contact between the grape skins and their juice.

Babes:

Winespeak for ‘friend’. As in, “fancy crushing a natty on the grass, babes?”

Biodynamic:

Cow poop, silica and medicinal plants used as fertilizer, in conjunction with lunar cycles (among other things). Cheers, Rudolph Steiner.

Body:

Explains how a wine feels in your mouth. Helps to think of the human form, i.e.; ‘strong’, ‘fleshy’, ‘lean’, etc.

Brett

‘Brettanomyces’ is a rogue yeast that can spoil wine. Tastes range from sweat or barnyard, to Band-Aids or B.O. Yummy.

Brutal:
Zero sulphur used in the vineyard and winery. Faults or flaws in the wine are welcome.

Conventional:

Chemically assisted farming. See also ‘lazy’, ‘disrespectful’ and ‘douche’.

Dan’s:

Where Satan sells his bin-juice wines.

Dry:
A wine that doesn’t taste sweet (swoit). Say, “this dry white lacks residual sugar” for dinner party cred. Or to get punched in the nose.

Fining:

Using anything from egg whites and skim milk, to copper sulphate and cyanide (seriously) to remove unstable proteins from wine that could impact its flavour, colour or aroma. Some are less harmful than others, but most are unnecessary and not used in natural winemaking. #embracetheflaws

Filtration:

Similar to above, with more focus on clarity of the wine. All conventional wineries ‘sterile filter’ their wines. How lame does that sound?

Haiku:
Grape. The sun. Wine in belly. Kissing at sunset. More.

Length:
Doodle jokes aside, this means extended mouthfeel and lingering taste.

Mousy:
‘Mouse taint’ is a wine fault that tastes like you’ve just licked a mouse. Generally present right after swallowing.

Natural:
Organic, unfined, unfiltered, low- or no-sulphur.

Off dry:
Somewhat sweet. Like gran.

Orange:

Means the same as ‘amber’ (see above). Terms are interchangeable.

Oxy:
Oxidisation in wine, where bacteria converts alcohol to acetic acid. Characters range from cardboard, to wet dog, to varnish. This isn’t necessarily bad.

Preservatives:

Used to combat spoilage and increase shelf life. Sulphur is the infamous one (although this is naturally occurring in grapes, see below).

Skin contact:
Grape juice and grape skins held together to add more colour, texture and aroma to the wine.

Sulphur:

A preservative that wards off bacteria and oxygen. A biproduct of fermentation, it’s harmless in small doses, but is usually overused in conventional (aka non-natural) wines.

Volley:
Volatile acidity or V.A is another wine fault. Think vinegar or nail polish remover.

Zonked:
Too many vinos, babes.