Wine tasting for normies

Many of my friends ask me to explain wine tasting to them. What to look for, what to smell, what to taste, and mostly, what to say.

The simple fact of the matter is that there is no right or wrong response. It is purely up to you. If you taste raspberries, whoopee. If you taste horses hooves, whoopee. If you just taste wine, whoopee whoopee. Here’s the way I look at it though. Wine tasting is a slow dance of erotic sorrow. First you catch sight of a colour. Yes, you have my attention, cool darling. Then you breathe in through your nose a millennia of wisdom, poetry and promises of lust on credit. Your fuse is lit. Now, oh yes now, you set the slippery magic sailing across your tongue. Neurons fire. Oh hello apricot! Ca’va fresh river stone? Ciao young plum. Messages drift back up to your mind, and your mind sends a telegram to your heart to let you know whether the wine will be staying the night or not. The very simple fact of the matter is, if you like it you like it, and if you don’t you don’t. 

 

Your body is a tasting instrument entirely different to everyone else’s. Just enjoy it.